The View from the Bench: Finding Value When You’re Not in the Game
The echo of volleyballs, the squeak of sneakers, the smell of popcorn—it was a full day in a school gym. I had driven in, coffee in hand, ready to watch my granddaughter’s team play through their conference tournament.
Four games, back-to-back. Long hours on those hard bleachers.
But what caught my attention that day wasn’t the score.
It was the kids who sat on the bench.
Game after game, four players—bright-eyed, ready, and dressed in the same team colors—barely touched the court. Maybe a minute, maybe two. One of them was my granddaughter.
As a parent or grandparent, it’s hard to watch that. You feel their quiet disappointment—the way they cheer for teammates while their own moment never comes. You ache for them. You wonder why not her?
But as the day unfolded, a deeper reflection began to take shape.
When Showing Up Doesn’t Seem to Matter
One of those kids drives over 130 km round trip—twice a week—just to get to practice.
That’s a serious commitment for a young athlete. Hours on the road, rearranged family schedules, late nights, and still the courage to keep showing up.
And yet, all that effort didn’t translate into playtime.
That realization sat heavy with me.
Because it isn’t just about sports—it’s a reflection of life.
How many times do we give our all, show up early, stay late, put our heart into something… only to feel unseen or overlooked?
How many times do we wonder if the effort even matters when it doesn’t seem to change the outcome?
Those moments—on the bench, in business, or in life—can test our belief more than any visible challenge ever could.
What Else Is True?
As a coach, I often ask: What else could be true here?
Maybe the bench isn’t punishment. Maybe it’s preparation.
Maybe the lesson isn’t about fairness—it’s about faithfulness.
Here’s what else is true:
💡 The bench builds perspective. We see the game differently when we’re not at the center of it.
💡 The bench tests resilience. We find out who we are when recognition doesn’t come easily.
💡 The bench reveals character. Because how we act when no one’s watching says more than how we perform under the lights.
Sometimes, “showing up” is the victory itself.
3 Ways to Reframe a Bench Moment
1. Shift from Frustration to Observation.
Instead of stewing in disappointment, take note of what you can learn.
Ask, What’s happening here that I can grow from?
Curiosity transforms comparison into growth.
2. Redefine What Contribution Looks Like.
Leadership doesn’t always mean being on the court.
It can mean encouraging others, lifting team morale, or quietly setting the example of grace under pressure.
Ask, How can I still add value here?
3. Remember: This Isn’t the End of the Story.
Every player, every person, has seasons of waiting.
Use that time to build confidence, sharpen your mindset, and stay ready.
Ask, What might this season be preparing me for?
The Leadership Lesson Hidden in the Sidelines
That day reminded me that leadership isn’t just about who gets the playtime—it’s about who keeps their heart in the game when they’re not chosen.
It’s about showing up with integrity, even when outcomes don’t match effort.
It’s about understanding that waiting seasons are never wasted—they’re where depth and maturity are born.
Because the truth is:
What we do on the bench shapes who we’ll be when we’re back in the game.
Coaching Reflection
Take a moment to pause and ask yourself:
Where in your life are you showing up faithfully but feeling unseen?
How might this “bench season” be shaping your character, perspective, or leadership?
What will you choose to believe about your own worth—regardless of recognition?
Final Thought
The scoreboard doesn’t always measure what matters most.
Sometimes, the greatest growth happens in the quiet, unseen moments—the times of waiting, watching, and choosing resilience over resentment.
So whether it’s your child sitting on the bench, your business in a slow season, or your own dream still unfolding—remember:
💚 The bench isn’t wasted time.
It’s preparation time.